Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Top Ten Creationist Arguments - Part 2


[Part 1]

Transcription by me:

Because the response to our first top ten list was so great and because there are so much good material out there, we humbly present favorite Top Ten Creationist Arguments.

1) The God of the Gaps

Essentially any hole or gap that remains unexplained by science must be an act of God.

Gaps in the fossil record? No problem! God did it!

How did the human eye become so incredibly complex? God did it!

What explains there are precise orbit of the planets within the solar system. God did it!

Throughout our history primitive man's understanding had enormous gaps and God become convenient explanation for all sort of things. Like tornadoes, solar eclipses, good or bad crops, rainbows, diseases and volcanic eruptions and more. But as men's understanding of science has grown and God of the gaps has continued to shrink.

2) Well, what came before the Big Bang?

Science simply doesn't know. But science will honestly admit that and continue searching for the answers. Have you insisted on placing God into that gap we would like to encounter our assertion that the Big Bang actually created by an extra terrestrial named TED who accidentally blow up his apartment while trying to make bear.

You have your unsubstantiated theories. We have our.

3) The Bible tells me so.

This is a fun little piece of circular reasoning. How do you know the Bible is the word of God because the Bible tells me so. But why do you believe the Bible, because it is infallible. But how do you know it is infallible. Because the word of God true and so on. The Bible simply proves itself. The argument also works for the Quran, the Torah, the Book of Mormon, Tobin's Spirit Guide and bestselling works of L. Ron Hubbard.

4) Morality doesn't exist without God.

Actually the Bible itself talks about how salvation is by grace and good works isn't enough for salvation. So those not said can do good works. There is wide number of non-religious charities and aid organisations besides if you are looking for morality you probably want to steer
clear of the God of Bible who advocates genocide, rape, incest, slaughter of babies, kidnapping and slavery. If you are interested we have a whole web page dedicated to this stuff.

5) You can't take the Bible literally.

Of course not! It's only the foundational document for millions of people world wide. The perfect divinely inspired word of Almighty God of course perfect God would create an imperfect Bible.

6) I had a personal experience and you can't tell me it didn't happen.

OK. We won't. We won't challenge your assertion that heard your God's voice or that you received a divine healing, or that you approached to death and divine light or that God spoke to you in a dream or vision. But we will say that people have also sworn they were abducted by aliens, taken ride on Halley's Comet, heard audible voices, and seen the image of Elvis manifested on a piece of white toast. To quote one of our heroes James Randi: "No amount of belief makes something a fact."

7) Who are YOU to question the existence of God?

Well, I'm an adult male, 6'1", brown hair, brown eyes, I like music, movies, books, sushi, long walks on a beach. You are kidding, right? No mere human has a right to test his belief system? Were not worthy enough to demand proof? Under that incredible flawed logic you can pretty much worship anything.

8) Pascal's Wager.

The argument made famous by 17th century French philosopher Blaise Pascal which asserted that if you believe in God and you are wrong you'll lose nothing but if you reject God and you are wrong you'll lose everything. So why not believe? Essentially Pascal's wager is a coward's way out and wouldn't omniscient God be able to tell that you simply took out of fire insurance policy and not true belief in conviction?

9) You became an atheist. Well, you were never truly saved to begin with.

Any ex-believer can related to this one. Apparently anyone who was a person of faith and then walked a way from God must not have been the real thing, you were a pretender, superficial, you did it wrong. On related note, everyone who has decided to eliminate junk food from their diets must have never eaten the right junk food.

10) To understand the Bible, you have to study the original Hebrew and Greek.

Well, of course why would God speak to each of his children plainly when he can communicate through ancient texts written by unverifiable authors subjectively translated into two hundreds of different versions and thousands of languages by imperfect humans over thousands of years. Meanwhile in modern day's Zimbabwe, one of the poorest countries in the world, a 99 year old woman named Kamali was able to send a perfectly clear, unambiguous and completely understandable e-mail message half way around the world to her great great grand children who didn't have argue its origin and authenticity or meaning. For this reason, if you like to start worshipping to Kamali instead of Yahweh, I think we all understand.

And that's round 2 of our top ten favorite creationist arguments. If any of these seemed unclear or incorrect to you, we liked to use our secret eleventh argument: "You simply took it out of context." And we know you've heard it before.

3 comments:

Gordon Freeman said...

Nice and funny.

La Plume said...

HAHAHA!!!!

I found this one better than the first ^^ Must be because lots of those have been used on me. Gosh the "You simply took it out of context." made me laugh so hard ^^

There should be more of these, short answers to stupid questions ^^

Mario said...

Thanks a lot for your work and this transcript!!!

Greetings from Italy

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